So I’ve just got back home after dropping Kiri off at preschool. Sitting on the sofa enjoying and savouring a milky cup of coffee. I’m feeling a little bit despondent this morning. Me and Mr Molkoo had an argument late last night about money surprise, surprise (Wouldn’t life be so much easier if it didn’t exist…) We’re going on holiday this Saturday to Portugal with my family. Kiri is really looking forward to it and I’m excited to see how she reacts to getting on a plane for the first time. Will is going to be staying at home with my mum, It’ll be the longest that I’ve been without him so far and I think I’m going to miss him terribly! I really hope that this bad mood doesn’t follow me on holiday and that things settle between me and Mr Molkoo as I would hate to spend the whole time arguing especially since it’s supposed to be 32+ degrees out there at the moment and I want to be out there enjoying the sun not sulking in a hotel bedroom!
So I have decided to start another blog. It’s been quite a few years since I had one that I wrote in regularly and recent events have led me to rediscover my love for writing (even if it is just bollocks) and in particular embracing it as an outlet for thoughts and feelings which mainly turn in to pointless ramblings, but nevertheless I feel excitement and joy at the prospect of writing regularly (maybe even daily?!) again.
I guess it might be useful to describe the ‘recent events’ if only to capture the memory to recall another time. After the birth of my son and second child, I experienced a relapse in my mental health. Depression has all to often been a battle for me but it would take a long time to explain the whole journey up until now. The relapse was not the worst I have fallen in to but was significant in recovery and treatment in the sense that they have never worked so well. I have been lucky enough to have been given a fantastic CPN and psychiatrist. To cut a long story short, I haven’t felt this good in years (thanks a lot to venlafaxine). The world seems like an utterly different place compared to how it feels when I’m ill. Everything looks vivid, beautiful and even smells seem to change. The fragrance of my hand cream is like heaven! I guess my new-found mood has left me able to start rediscovering happiness and what makes me happy, which brings me to here.